I just don’t seem to be able to shake off this impression that I’m a misogynist (even though I was christened Methodist). So here are some jokes for the ladies – in fact they are jokes from the ladies.
Why did god make woman after man?
You need a rough copy before the final draft.
Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll beat him to death.
Why do little boys whine?
They’re practicing to be men
What does it mean when a man is in your bed grasping for breath and calling your name?
You need to hold the pillow over his face for a bit longer
Why do men become smarter during sex?
They’re plugged into a genius
Why did God bother to make men at all?
Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn.
A man calls from the laundry room to his wife: “What setting on the washing machine do I use for my sweat shirt”
The wife shouts back, “What does it say on the shirt?”
“Adidas” he replies – and they say blonds are dumb.
The husband steps out of the shower and jokes “It’s so hot today I think I’ll stay naked. What do you think the neighbours will say?”
“That I married you for your money”
Up yours, Stame