Plus ca change, plus c’est tout une charge de merde de taureau
Fluent in French – just another of my hidden talents.
I cannot believe Sherrington’s stupidity in thinking he can win a debate with Paul Feldwick. Even if he was arguing water was wet and Paul was arguing it wasn’t, he’d lose. Mr. Feldwick is ten times smarter than Uncle Fester (my special name for Shezza). As it is he is trying to argue that the internet has changed everything – bollocks. Name me one thing?
The internet makes marketing more interative – listen, marketing was interactive in the Coliseum in Rome. Thumbs down if you want to see the Christian fed to the Lions, thumbs up if you to want to see them freed so they can form Bible Groups and put little fish on their chariots.
The internet gives people more access to information so they can make better purchase decisions – I go down the pub and ask my drinking buddies which is the best car to buy for under 10 grand. Someone always knows.
Everyone can publish their views – yes, they can, in a gazillion dull blogs (duller even than this one). We always knew that everyone has a book in them, just not necessarily a good one. Now that anyone can publish for free the cyber space is clogged up with the most useless drivel***.
The internet has changed the nature of social interaction – wow, now a load of spotty teenagers can share their mindless ramblings and puerile pursuits with a load more spotty teenagers on Facebook. Big deal.
Oh but it’s so easy to book on-line – are you kidding me! By the time you have filled out the form 10 times because you keep missing some piece of information (which is only asked for so they can pester you with a load of useless offers later on) you might as well pick up the phone and call someone. Better still get your secretary to do it. And for secretary read search engine – much better than google.
The internet has caused an explosion of content – if by content you mean some video of a cat playing the trombone or some little kid hitting his brother and laughing ‘til he wets himself, well then all I can say is that you are easily contented. (I will acknowledge the vast improvement in quality and quantity of pornography and the ability to fill in few dull hours at work watching it).
Look how the internet has changed politics – Bush and Brown were kicked out and Obama and Cameron got in. Am I missing something?
The internet has changed the balance of power between big brands and consumers – not so’s you’d notice. And anyway do you seriously think any of these big corporations pay any attention to what you think? They listen to their shareholders and watch their competitors. If you want to influence what they actually do with their brands, give up 2 hours on a Tuesday night to sit in some bloody focus group in Staines being interviewed by a drippy moderator with a degree in Humanities. You have a much better chance of some witless brand manager concluding from the debrief that there was a much stronger preference for the apricot flavoured toothe paste just because you and the other mouthy guy gave it the thumbs up and the rest of the group couldn’t be bothered saying anything.
Access to news, sports and weather reports – buy a newspaper.
No, it’s all a load of tosh spread by the Silicon Valley geeks who want to sell you the latest Lilly Pad Phone so you can browse 24/7. Browse what? If you want to browse go to a big department store, you’ll even get a free splash of aftershave.
And if f you want to blog so that you can share your views with a large unkown captive audience, take a felt tip pen with you the next time you use a public toilet (also a useful place to meet new friends and interact socially as George Michael will tell you). I call it the Bogosphere.
*** My eBooks available on this site are of course an exception to this general rule.
Up yours, Stame.